RANSVESTIA

not only of a good job but of promotion and growth both in status and income; you had to be personable so that you would make a good im- pression on her family and friends; you had to project a good masculine image strong, dependable, and decisive. You also had to give her the impression that you were tender, loving and would be a good and kind father to her kids. Now all of these things made up her concept of mas- culinity and what she expected of a man. Great! And so you were mar- ried!

Sometime after the marriage she discovers or is told that you, her husband, are an FP and you like to wear dresses, etc. It wasn't so bad when you dressed up for Halloween or New Year's and pranced around

she was rather disconcerted that you seemed to do it pretty well and to enjoy yourself but after all it was just a silly fun thing and of no im- portance. She could live with you that night and forget it the next morn- ing. But when it turns out that you really enjoy such capers and that you have for a long time back and you want to do it again and what's more you want her understanding and active acceptance and participation WOW, all hell breaks loose. And why not?

Remember, I'm tlaking about the flatly unaccepting or the very re- luctant wives - C, D, E types. The A's and B's we can mention later. You sewed a breeze and reaped a whirlwind because your action not only crashed hed on into all the preconceptions, expectations, and assump- tions she had about you but you just about pulled out all the foundations upon which she had laboriously built her own self-concept, her own psychic security, adequacy, and social worth. You threaten her on al- most all levels. Should a similar (though different) catastrophy befall you, you would get violently upset too; but it would be in a masculine way. For example, if you were to find that she had been having morning rolls in the hay with the iceman, milkman, postman and miscellaneous repair men while you were away you might beat her up physically but you would almost certainly up and leave her then and there. Your mas- culine pride in "your woman” would have been so destroyed that you wouldn't be able to face it and you would simply walk out. Leaving is a masculine way because he can always circulate around and pick up an- other woman that's the way the system works. But a wife having the rug pulled out from beneath her doesn't generally walk out on the man but goes to great lengths from persuasion, to threats, to persecution to get her man back in line in order to hold the relationship together. She knows that going out looking for another man is not going to be easy the culture says that she can't look for, she must be looked AT and chos-

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